Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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