my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
