Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
