somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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