smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
