I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You can't just leave with hair like that
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
