How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
