we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
