You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
