let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
