i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
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