I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I had to cum in my sink.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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