everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
