ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
