I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
