yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
