When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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