Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
