i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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