i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We had sex on a dog bed..
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