is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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