I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
