Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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