WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
