I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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