its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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