Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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