Don't you send me to vm
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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