Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
