Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
