How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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