A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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