you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
