Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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