You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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