Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
