They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
