singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
