I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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