In America we eat man semen.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You ruined the universe
Randomize
