it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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