Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
