Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
