my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
