like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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