is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Shame - the story of my life.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
