Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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