White coat. Heels.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
