"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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