Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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