I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
